Not So Perfect After All
by Nara Katie
Summary: Sasuke and Ino. The ideal date. What happens when the two are forced to marry each other? How perfect will these perfect people turn out to be... Together? Rated M for possible violence, blood, or sexual content.
1. Disagreements and Agreements

**Not So Perfect After All**

**Chapter 1 "Disagreements and Agreements"**

**Rated: M  
**

* * *

Ask me to marry Naruto, because at that point in time, I did** not **want to marry _her, _and I could care less about what my parents had wanted. Why had they arranged a marriage for me? What was the purpose of it? I could have just ran away, my parents are dead after all and I didn't want to do it! ...But... The hokage insisted that the marriage had been arranged when I was about two years in age, and the time had been approaching for us to be married. Stupid rules. You can basically marry whom ever you choose in Konoha, unless, of course, you had been arranged to marry another by your parents. I don't understand why my parents tought it was best to arrange a marrigae for me. Why not Itachi? 

The only way to call off this wedding was to convince the Yamanaka's to let their daughter have the freedom to choose!

_No, of course they didn't call the wedding off, because, Ino had __**wanted** to marry me... And after she would have said yes, there was no way her parents would let her out of it even if she didn't want to marry after a while.  
_

I found myself walking down a path no one walks down. It's old and leads to absolutely no where. Okay, it leads to somewhere, because no matter where you are it's never no where. It leads to a small stream, and it nice and quiet there... I don't understand why no one goes there. It's pretty peaceful after all.

_I knew she would hate that place even if she loved it as much as I did._

I sat down next to the water and watched it speed by. The water always moved so fast for such a little stream, but even if the stream was fast, time was still slow. Time always passed by slowly for me, and it was almost too slow.

_Time no longer passes slowly. It only moves faster and faster._

It was getting late and I was suppose to have been at the Yamanaka residence a few hours ago. I stood up and sighed... What a long night this would be. Why did everyone want me to marry her? Why didn't I have a say in it? I wished my parents were alive at the moment... They would have talked it over with me, and probably would have called it off themselves... As I reached Ino's house I let out one more sigh. This was troublesome. I knocked on the door and it was quickly answered by the blond girl.

"Sasuke-kun!" She cooed out letting me in, "My father has been waiting, we must talk about the marriage arrangements." Ino pulled me into her living room and sat me on the couch before looking at her father and saying, "Well, what shall we talk about first?"

Inoichi looked at me and smiled a little, "Glad you finally made it Uchiha." I hated being called by just my last name for some odd reason. Why couldn't he add Sasuke at the end like most people do?

I nodded at him and set back ignoring Ino who was clinging to me. I hated her. She was annoying, maybe even more so than Sakura... Who had become more annoying when she found out about me and Ino. Stupid marriage. I hated it.

"Well we need to figure this all out, the year has just begun and you two, and by my and your parents agreement was to have you married by the end of this year." He smiled at his daughter, "You two have to decide on a day and what the wedding is to be like... Big, small, indoor, outdoor, and such... I just need to know the arrangements, but you can talk it out... I can either sta here and help you two decide or I can leave you two alone and you can tell me later."

"Stay." She said.

"Go." I said.

She sighed, "Sasuke-kun, I would like it if my dad helped us figure it out..."

"Whatever." I hissed under my breath and crossing my arms, "What do you want to figure out first?"

"Let's have our wedding in the spring." She said as if she had her heart set on spring. I didn't care what she wanted, spring was too close for me, winter was almost over, and I'd much rather have it at the end of the year next winter.

"Next winter." I said glaring at her slightly, "I don't like the spring." I didn't like winter either, I liked the fall, but I didn't want to get married sooner than I had to.

Inoichi sat back and watched us bicker over spring and winter, finally he butted in, "Why not the fall, since it's in between? Then the fighting stops and we have it set."

"Okay..." Ino said kind of disappointed... She really wanted to get married in the spring, but right then I didn't care what she wanted. I was being selfish... I wanted things my way, and I wanted winter, but fall was farther than spring so it wasn't that bad, was it?

_I regret ruining her dreams all these years. _

"I want a big wedding." Ino said excitedly, "And invite my family and friends, maybe the whole village!"

"I want to keep it simple and small." I argued, "I don't like having to deal with big crowds, it's annoying. Ino frowned, and I knew she was upset once again. What was so great about a big wedding anyways? I didn't get it! I looked at her dad and sighed, "I don't, okay?"

Inoichi shrugged, "Ino, dear, maybe you should keep it small... Just your family and his friends."

Ino nodded looking away. None of this was turning out her way, but at least I was getting decently what I wanted. That's all I had cared about.

What _I _wanted.

Our conversations continued and we didn't agree on anything. Not one simple thing. Whatever she said I had to pick the opposite. She got somethings she wanted, and I got somethings I wanted... In the end I was pretty satisfied with the decisions, but she seemed pretty upset.

_I don't think I ever saw her** truly**_ _happy. Ever._

I found myself sitting on a bench in the park, and by chance, or on purpose Ino had found me. She tried to smile at me, but I knew that I had crushed every little hope and dream she ever had... Especially the one about having a family. I told her if it ever happen only one or possibly two... She wanted a few more... But I could see her after the first kid complaining that she was too fat and not want another one... That or she'd get upset that she couldn't lose the weight and get pregnant again to cover up that she's over weight... That's just my opinion on her though... Always caring about her looks.

_And I should have told her she was the most beautiful thing in the world._

"Hey Sasuke-kun..." She sat next to me, "Where are we going to live? In the Uchiha estate?"

I looked at her and nodded, "I have a certain house picked out though..." It was one I had wanted to live in since my parents died... I mean there was nothing to hold me back, something just told me to save, and so I saved it and now I decided I want to live in it... But would Ino ruin it for me? Being in that wonderful house? I'll probably sell the rest of the houses and such after Ino and I get a little more settle... I had held on to the estate so long. Waiting for when I should let it go...

_We loved this house, but I grew to hate it. It reminds me of all the fights. All the unhappy times we shared..._

"Oh..." She whispered, as if assuming it would be something she hated. I stared at her for a long moment. The gently breeze picking up our hair and lifting them softly. I couldn't help it. She was too sad, and I am only human... I felt bad.

"I'll show you the house, but you can't tell your parents, it's suppose to be a surprise... A wedding gift I guess... They helped me pick out which one to live in..." In reality I just showed them the house and they agreed that Ino would like it.

She tried to smile, "Okay... Right now?"

I nodded and stood up. Extending my hand she took it. I lead her to the house and opened the door letting her in first. I looked around a little, "It needs slight work... But don't worry... I'll get it done..." She nodded a little as I lead her through the house. Stopping in the bedroom I found myself standing in the middle of the empty room.

Ino stared at me for a long moment, "I really like it Sasuke-kun..." She looked away, "I do..." That made me feel a little better, but the next thing hurt. She stepped forward and kissed me. Pulling away she whispered, "I thought I liked you so much... Thought you were so cool... But I realize you're a jackass..." She looked away again, "But you are somewhat kind..."

I really didn't know what to say to the complimenting insult. So I just pulled her into another kiss. She was really tense this time... And seemed to just be in a shock.

_I really wish I tired harder to make her happy, **emotionally.**_

She pulled away quickly and said, "I'm going to go home... Sasuke-kun... I'll see you later." Ino hurried out of the house. I knew she was confused... Trying to get things straight... What was going on... Why I was being nice... I thought that maybe I could make things work... I was wrong, I know I was.

After that kiss things didn't lighten up until after the marriage. We still disagreed on most things and fought constantly. I tried to be patient with Ino, but she was impatient with me, so I would turn foul. I never meant to be so mean to her... Such a fragile girl she was, and I was completely oblivious to it.

_I never realized how insecure she was until now..._

Finally that day came. The day I dreaded. The day of my marriage. I got ready by myself, I didn't need anyone's help or support. I stood at the end of aisle... Waiting for Ino to walk up and join me. I couldn't imagine what things we were going to go through... I knew it wasn't going to turn out so well after this... I never wanted to do this, I never wanted to make this commitment... It just wasn't my style.

The wedding wasn't that big and most the people there were there because Ino invited them. I hated being judged by a crowd like this, especially when most of them have heard about how me and Ino have small fights. Her parents just couldn't keep their mouths shut... At least most people said a marriage can't be perfect and found the fighting normal.

I found myself looking away when the music finally started and she walked down that aisle. Dressed in white... So beautiful... I was too stupid to actually admit that or at least tell her that.

* * *

Please review. Thank you.

I love suggestions.

Nara Katie


	2. Jealousy

**Not So Perfect After All**

**Chapter 2 "Jealousy"**

**Rated: M  
**

* * *

I knew Sakura would have a problem with me being married to Ino. She wasn't exactly invited to our wedding but she showed up at the reception. Ino and I kind of drifted from each other after the ceremony. I think she was a little mad that we were actually married. I didn't really care anymore. I should make the best of it right? Even though my goal could probably never be reached now... Having to care for a girl the rest of my god damned life. 

I sat down outside at a small table. I hated parties. I would rather be separated from everyone else until I had to leave. Ino and I didn't want a honeymoon, we decided we'd rather just stay in the house alone for a while. Which was my idea, cutting ourselves out of the world for a while. I didn't like being part of something so big.

_I should have given her a honeymoon like she asked after a few years went by... I always refused the idea._

I heard someone call out my name from the doorway, I automatically thought it was Ino, but when I turned towards the voice I was wrong. I immediately looked away, "What do you want Sakura?"

She closed the door behind her and joined me at the small table. "I know you didn't want to marry her." Sakura started out in a hopeful kind of voice. "I was... Just thinking about that... You'd probably much rather be with someone like m-"

"No." I said rudely.

Sakura stared at me, "Just hear me out?"

"I don't like you..." I said looking at the sky, It was clear blue... A good sign right?

"Sasuke-kun." She said leaning over the table, "She would never have to know."

"Is marriage a game to you Sakura? It sure as hell doesn't look like a game to me." I said staring at her coldly, "I will try to make this marriage work, no matter what." I knew marriage wasn't a game... My parent actually had an arranged marriage, I was just then realizing that... And they worked out fine... They learned to love each other... Have children... I could do that same even though I didn't really want to, right?

_I had never realized how much my parents actually fought until I fought as much as they did. I think I fought more._

Sakura looked defeated, "You're right Sasuke-kun. I don't know what I was talking about, I'm really sorry." She stood up, and I knew she was angry. Turning away she went back inside and after that I didn't see her.

* * *

I straightened out my dress a little, sitting at a table with Asuma and my old team mates. I couldn't believe I was actually married... I tried to smile a little, "Life goes by so quickly doesn't it?" 

Shikamaru simply nodded and Choji continued to eat. What was I suppose to expect? That was exactly like them. Asuma, for once, didn't not have a cigarette in his mouth. He smiled a little, "Life does go by fast, but you have to learn to love it... You'll do good, Ino-chan... You'll be a great wife don't worry about it..." He set a hand on my should and smiled a little more.

I smiled a little, "I hope so... I hope everything works out..."

"I know arranged marriages are hard Ino, but most times they work out just fine, trust me." He said in an assuring voice. I knew Asuma and probably the rest of the group had heard that Sasuke and I already fought. We couldn't help it, our personalities didn't click like I thought they would.

"Thank you Asuma." I hugged him momentarily before realizing Shikamaru was starting to stand. "Where are you going Shika?"

He shrugged, "Could you... Possibly come talk with me?" He looked away, "It's a bit troublesome, but I'd like to talk with you alone."

"Of course Shika, we could probably step outside." And what I meant by that was out in front because Sasuke was outside where all the tables and such were... I watched him go out there, and he hasn't returned... I knew he didn't like gatherings like this. I led him outside and sat on the ground. I didn't care about my dress. I was never going to wear it again...

Shikamaru stared at the sky and sighed. I knew he was looking for a cloud... But the sky was clear today... Which meant I could star gaze tonight. That was something I liked to do, but I never told Shikamaru because I constantly made fun of his cloud watching. "Ino... I know I'm too late... I know I should have spoken up sooner..."

"What are you getting at?" I asked slightly puzzled.

"You're married now." He sat down next to me and took my hands, "But married or not... I would have never had a chance."

"Shika..." I whispered, "What are you saying?" I was scared to hear it. He had been like my best friend for the longest time... He couldn't have possible... _Liked_ me?

"I'm saying you're too good for me, but I liked you anyways... I always told myself I didn't, but now that every thing's over and done with so I'm just getting it off my chest." He kissed my cheek and let go of my hands, "Thank you for being my friend... I know it was troublesome." And with that Shikamaru was back inside.

I looked away. I started to think... What would it have been like with Shikamaru? Would I actually be happy, or would my relationship with him completely crumble?

* * *

I was thankful when I finally got to go home. The almost empty house had boxes lying around. Her parents had shown her the place early in the morning and moved some stuff in before the wedding. I stared at Ino and said, "You'll need to take the dress off sometime. It looks uncomfortable..." I had changed at the reception.

"I know." She whispered walking towards the bedroom and shutting me out while she changed... Why should I care? We may be married but that didn't mean we had to act that way. She came out in some shorts and a baggy T-shirt. Looking away she asked, "Do you have any blankets? I mean like extra ones? I didn't bring any over..."

I pointed to a hall closet and said, "In there, why?"

"I'm going outside..."

"To sleep?"

"No..." She said getting into the small closet and withdrawing a blanket... She happened to pick my favorite one, "Star gazing." She looked away, "No one except my parents know that's what I do most nights..."

I shrugged. I followed her as she went outside. Ino seemed a little uneasy that I had. She laid the blanket out on the grass and sat down on it. Patted the fabric she said, "You can join me... If you want."

I sat down with her, and the next thing I knew we were lying down staring at the sky... She was stiff and tense. I could feel it in the atmosphere. "I'm not going to bite you Ino, you can ease up."

She nodded, but stayed tense. About an hour passed until I stood up and went inside... Ino came in only a few minutes later the blanket all folded up. I tried not to seem to upset about the smudge of dirt on it as I wiped it away, "I like this blanket..."

Ino blushed a looked away, "Oh..."

"I'm not saying I'm mad..." I whispered rubbing her cheek. We were actually getting along. It was strange to me.

"I know." She said choking on her words, "I know..." Ino looked back at me and whispered, "Do you think... Things are going to get better?"

_I tried to make them better, damn it! I tried!_

"I think they are." I wrapped my arms around her and pressed my forehead against hers, "Okay? Don't worry so much..." I don't know why I was so nice to her, but it didn't change much after that... Things went back to normal. Fighting.

The next morning to was raining lightly, and in my opinion a bad sign. I got up and stared at the sleeping Ino momentarily. Shrugging a little to myself I entered the bathroom and started to shower. I wasn't expecting the recently sleeping girl to join me so suddenly.

I prayed the the steam made my face red an hid the blush upon my cheeks. I said softly, "What are you doing?"

Ino looked away slightly, trying hard not to blush herself, "I just thought maybe... Maybe it's better if we get a little more... Personal?"

_We both tried..._

"Maybe." I said shifting a little and continuing with my shower in a normal manner. After we showered I found myself dressed and away from Ino. Sitting down on the couch she soon followed me, asking me what I wanted for breakfast.

That was a huge mistake. It led to a small argument and I couldn't help but storm out of the room furious. Breakfast wasn't even a big deal, so why make it one? I smacked myself sat on the bed. This was never going to work! Was it?

Ino brought me in some toast and set in on the night stand. I could tell she had been crying, and I knew that she was hiding how badly I actually hurt her feelings.

_I don't recall telling her I was sorry very often... Maybe that would have helped?_

"Thank you." I said kind of stern. I picked up the plate and ate the toast. She looked down and played with her fingers, as if waiting for something. I handed her the plate and said trying to control my voice, "Thank you... Okay?"

She took the plate and nodded. Turning away I heard her start to cry. I looked over at the wall as Ino left the room... Maybe I should have been nicer?

Ino didn't return to the bedroom and I found her sitting outside in the rain... She was on the back porch just soaked, staring into nowhere. I looked at her and snapped, "You're going to get a cold... And get the house messy, are you stupid?"

She only buried her head in her knees and hugged herself. "Did you hear me Ino?" She hiccuped a little and pulled her up roughly, "Get inside!" She stared at me with those blue eyes, begging me to just leave her be, but I couldn't stand it. She was just so difficult!

Ino whispered hoarsely, "I don't want to go inside..."

"You're going to catch a cold!"

"I don't fucking care Sasuke! I don't give a shit!" She snapped coldly.

"Get the hell in the house and deal with it!" I yelled yanking her towards the door.

"Let me go!" She practically screamed, "Sasuke! Keep your fucking hands off me!"

I pushed her inside and onto the hard wood floor, "Are you fucking retarded? What are you doing?" I slammed the door behind myself in a frustrated manner. This wasn't such a good start for us and I knew it...

_Maybe if I was a little nicer... Maybe things wouldn't have turned out this way..._

"I don't want to be here with you!" She whispered rubbing her eyes. I left the room only to come back and throw a towel at her.

"I'm only caring! Is that so horrible of me!" I shouted.

"Stop being a jackass and maybe I'll believe you care!" She screamed at me standing up. Ino threw the towel back at me and said, "Fuck you Sasuke!"

I didn't realize what I had done until I had done it. I smacked right across the face and snapped, "I'm trying my hardest to do what's best for you! You're going to get a fucking cold!"

She started crying, "I hate you..." Ino fell back to the floor and whispered, "I hate you..." She repeated those words until I left the room where she just cried into the towel.

_Did she really hate me like she always claimed?_

* * *

Please review. Thank you.

I love suggestions.

Nara Katie


	3. Comfort

**Not So Perfect After All**

**Chapter 3 "Comfort"**

**Rated: M  
**

* * *

The next day I found Ino cuddled up in the bed with me. She must have been really cold, and she was probably sick now. She didn't look as pretty as she did the other day. I stroked her tangled hair a little, not realizing how light she slept. I stared into her piercing blue eyes and said, "Are you okay?" 

She nodded a little and sniffled before looking away, "I should have listened to you..."

I shrugged somewhat and played with her hair, "I shouldn't have yelled like that... Or hit you..."

Ino winced a little, like just the thought of being hit hurt. I held her close, and before I knew what exactly was going on we were kissing, and then I was on top of her. It was happening so fast, I didn't know what I was doing exactly.

She seemed to beckoning me though. Gliding her hands over my chest and staring intensely into my eyes. Why would she want to do something with me? After that fight? I didn't understand... But a part of me said everything would get better if I just did it...

_It never made anything better, it only hurt more... _

I kissed her softly, feeling as if that was the right thing to do. Slowly we had our clothing off, just staring at each other, waiting for the next move. "Maybe we shouldn't..." I said quietly.

Ino looked away and whispered, "But I want to..." Did she know what she was asking for? She was asking for the intimacy of a loving married couple! But... We were at least married... So it didn't matter if we were loving or not, right?

I hesitated, "Maybe... We should wait?"

"Do you not want to do this Sasuke?" Ino stared at me as if there was something wrong with her, as if I not fucking her would mean I hated something about her, or her body.

"I don't know." I said looking down over her. She just stared at me, as if saying 'Make your move already.' Either I could stop now, or try this... I pushed myself up into a proper position and pushed myself inside Ino.

At first it was a little hard, but after time it became easier...

Ino laid panting and I exhausted. I moved some hair off her sweaty face and whispered, "I love you..." Why did I say that? Why did it feel so right to tell her when I knew it was wrong? I was so confused...

_It felt right because I really loved her._

She stared at me in disbelief for a moment, "I-I love y-you..." The words came stiffly and unsteady. I knew she really didn't know what to tell me.

A few hours passed and things seemed to be perfectly fine. As if nothing wrong had ever happened between us. She hugged me and kissed me and told me she was happy over and over again... I was seriously confused.

When the effect of happiness came off we were back to ourselves. Just getting angry and yelling. Girls are so difficult, and I really didn't understand why. Why did they need attention and affection? What did Ino want from me? To change who I am? I can't change! I'm a jackass, and I'll always be that way.

_But I tried to change... Old habits die hard I guess?_

I didn't quite understand it, but Ino left the house. We had gotten into one little fight over what to have for dinner... It always seemed to be the food that threw us off. She became frustrated and just... Left? Would she come back, or was she running away? I shrugged it off, but I couldn't help but wonder.

When she came back home that night she stared at me for a long moment, "Don't worry I wasn't outside, so I won't catch a fucking cold."

"You already have one." I pointed out turning back to my book. Staring at the words I couldn't concentrate on I asked, "Where were you?"

"Somewhere... Why?" She asked looking away.

"I was just curious as to where you went." I retorted, not looking up at her.

"I went to a... Friends..." She whispered slightly. Ino left the room without saying anymore or letting me speak. Who's house did she go to? I just wanted to know... It wasn't like I was mad...

I found myself not being able to read anymore. I set the book aside and found Ino in our room, "Ino..." I really didn't know what to tell her, I mean, she just left... Was she looking for something from me by doing that, "Where did you go?"

"I told you." She said sternly.

"Ino... Who's house did you go to?"

"It's none of your business, okay?" She whispered lying down on the bed.

"It is to." I said sitting on the bed, "I'm your husband... I'm responsible for you."

"You didn't even want to marry me! So why should you care?" She snapped.

"I'm just curios!" I said grabbing her, "And I want to make sure you're okay..."

"Then act like a loving person instead of a jackass, Sasuke!" She hissed under her breath, "You really piss me off, ya'know?"

"Ino! I'm fucking trying okay, this was a _huge _change for me, I've been along for years! Since I was eight-years-old!" I snapped shaking her a little, "This is difficult!"

"Sasuke..." She whispered shaking her head a little, "I didn't think of that... I didn't think about what you've been through..." Ino started to cry, "I'm so stupid! So selfish Sasuke-kun!" She hugged me and cried into my chest.

I held her close, "It's okay... I'm selfish... I always have been, always thinking of myself, but can't you tell Ino, I've been trying to care for you... Trying to make this work..."

"I know..." She whispered, "I know..."

_Why didn't things change?_

I then asked again, "Where did you go?"

"Shikamaru's..." She whispered with no hesitant.

"Why did you go to his house? Ino-chan?" I asked quietly. I had no objection to her going, Shikamaru had always been her friend, but she couldn't possibly be cheating on me already, could she? For some reason I felt jealous, what if there was something going on already?

"He cares about me..." She said softly, "He's my best friend after all..."

I nodded and held her even tighter, "I know this is hard..." I was also jealous that she actually had a friend to go to, when I had myself to go to... Myself to blame... Myself to talk to... Myself...

"I'm sorry Sasuke-kun..."

"For what?" I questioned slightly confused.

"Leaving... I was just so... Upset... I didn't know what else to do." She looked up at me with her reddened face from crying. She really was starting to look really bad lately. Staying out in the rain, crying, and just stressed out. I couldn't believe I transformed her into this. I hated myself. I hated the fact I was such an ass.

She kissed me softly. Asking me to please her again. I knew what she wanted, I could tell from her kiss. It was her way of healing herself, knowing she was wanted sexually... It wasn't the best comfort, but it worked for us so far...

I pulled her into the bedroom gently. Staring down at her with my onyx eyes I slowly undressed and she did the same. I pulled her bare skin up against mine and kissed her reassuringly. Moving our bodies swiftly to the bed I kissed her some more... Making sure she knew she was loved in some kind of shape or form...

I moved my hands over her hips and whispered, "Things will get better Ino, okay?" She simply nodded looking away with eyes of sorrow. I reached up and took her hair down watching it gently fall to her shoulders, "You're beautiful with your hair down..." She looked back at me and nodded again. I knew she was thinking, and something seemed to be wrong.

"You and Shika... Only talked, right?" I asked pushing Ino softly onto her back and hovering over her.

Ino whispered, "He kissed me Sasuke-kun... Once or twice... He was trying to comfort me, and I told him I was married, I pushed him away the best I could..."

I nodded, "It's okay, it's not your fault... I know you're not going to do anything extreme..." But I was seriously worried now, what if she went back, what if things progressed? I didn't want Ino with another man, why? Why was I so jealous.

_I always ignored the fact she was probably having an affair._

(**Sexual Content**)

We didn't talk anymore. I didn't want to think about Shikamaru with _my _wife. I kissed her neck gently before pushing my member into Ino. I swayed my hips up, sitting with Ino on my lap, and holding her close. Her arms found their way around my neck and her nails dug slightly into my back as I lifted her hips up and down over myself.

She let out small moans I knew she was holding back. Afraid I would judge her? I kept a steady pace and she continued to hold in her moans. I didn't mind too much, I didn't care if she moaned or not, but I didn't want her to think I hated the sounds she made, because I didn't.

My breathing became heavy and I switched our position so I was on top of her pumping myself in and out. I couldn't find anything wrong with what we were doing besides the fact we weren't doing this out of love... But did it really matter that much? After I met my climax I lied down next to Ino and kissed her neck, "I love you..."

(**End** **of Sexual Content**)

We were perfectly fine, we went to sleep happy, and loving. It felt so right until morning came, then it felt all wrong. Ino moped around a little as if I was judging her in some way even though I continued to tell her how amazing the sex was. She would only shake her head and call me a liar... I didn't understand it! Why was she so difficult? I told her everything she might want to hear... Didn't I?

"Sasuke-kun... You must hate something about last night..." She said glaring a little, "You're not the type to think something like that was wonderful! I know it!"

"Stop saying things like that! It's lies and you know it, I loved last night, I loved every single bit of it! Don't you understand? It wasn't bad in any way!"

"You're the only one lying Sasuke!" She said coldly, "You're always lying..."

"What?" I said confused, "I trying to make yourself feel better by lying? I don't know what you're getting at!"

"You don't love me, so stop telling me that when we... Ya'know..." She looked away and rubbed her eyes, "Having... _Sex_..." That word rolled off her tongue as if she was ashamed of having sex with me... And she was the one who wanted it! Wasn't she?

* * *

Please review. Thank you.

I love suggestions.

Nara Katie


	4. Big News

**Not So Perfect After All**

**Chapter 4 "Big News"**

**Rated: M**

* * *

It was as if she was picking fights with me on purpose, and I was trying so hard. "What do you want me to tell you? What do you want me to say!" I lashed out in frustration, "I've done everything I can! I've told you everything I thought on this subject and you're pushing me away!" 

"Tell me the truth..." She whispered looking at me with those blue eyes, those beautiful blue eyes. I felt myself loving her, even though I had hated her only a few days ago.

"I have been! Do you want me to lie? Do you want me to tell you last night was horrible? That I hated it? Well I didn't! So get over it Ino!"

"Sasuke!" She yelled, but she didn't continue. She just stared out the window and repeated, "Sasuke..."

"What!" I said a little too roughly. I hoped she wouldn't get upset, I hoped she wouldn't cry, I hoped she wouldn't leave... That she wouldn't go to Shikamaru's again.

She shook her head, "I'm sorry..." Ino then pushed herself pass me and into the living room. I watched her pick up a blanket, my favorite blanket and wrap herself in it. She hid her face in the fabric and silently cried. I knew she was crying but I ignored it and shut the bedroom door. What else was I suppose to do?

* * *

Why was I pushing his opinion away? Was it because I was ashamed of actually having sex with him and being complimented on it? Was I afraid of hearing a lie? I shook my head and cried a little more. Did he really think it was amazing? Did he really like it that much? Sasuke just didn't seem to be the type who would like something like that... 

I wiped away my tears and stood up before entering the kitchen and started lunch... It may have been just a little bit too early for lunch, but we always fought over breakfast and dinner, so I was practically safe just by making lunch right? I opened up a can of soup and started making some sandwiches.

When I was done I brought the food into our bedroom and smiled a little, "I made tomato soup and some sandwiches." I handed him a bowl and plate, "I hope you don't mind skipping breakfast.

"No... It's fine." He said taking the soup, "I like tomatoes.." Sasuke looked at me and then at the soup. He took a few bites before staring at the sandwich, "What kind is it?"

"It's meat and cheese..." I said hoping he wasn't upset, "There's tomatoes in it..."

He smiled a little, "Arigato." Wait! Did he really just smile? I was taken aback, but I started to eat feeling happier than I had before.

I ate a little faster than him and set my dishes on the nightstand before leaning up against him, "Did you _really _enjoy last night?" All I got was a simple nod, probably because his mouth was full. I couldn't help but smiled, "Thank you." He nodded again and took our dishes to the kitchen...

* * *

I set the dishes in the sink and returned to Ino before kissing her gently, "Of course it was wonderful Ino.. Why would I have lied to you? What would be the point? I've been completely honest throughout our marriage." 

Ino looked away, "There's something I didn't tell you exactly..."

"What is that?" I asked blinking. I had a strange feeling it was about Shikamaru.

"I told you he kissed me a few times... But I kissed him first..." She whispered looking at me, "I was just so confused Sasuke-kun... I didn't think, I didn't know what I was doing, and he was just there for comfort."

I nodded and kissed her again. I didn't want to believe it, I didn't want to hear she had done anything, but deep down I knew that is really happened. She was simply confused, just like she said, right? I rubbed her arm, "I know, it's my fault you even left."

Ino hugged me tightly, "I'm sorry..." She stared crying softly, then it turned into sobbing and I was unsure of what to do. I wanted to comfort her, but at the same time I wanted to be alone... I wanted to think about things... Was Shikamaru someone she would continue going to when I was being an asshole?

I just kept the girl in my arms until her tears ceased, then I pulled away and rubbed the damp liquid away from her eyes. Ino whispered once more, "I'm sorry..." She was asking to be forgiven? She wanted me to tell her it was okay? Well to me it wasn't okay. I wanted to try, but she went off for someone else's comfort... Why was I suppose to forgive her? I already had, kind of... Right? Wasn't that enough for her?

Ino looked away. I knew she was waiting for it, but it never came. The girl slowly got to her feet and made her way into the other room...

* * *

About a year had passed since I got married to Sasuke. We tried and tried to make things work. We never could do it though. The only time, I felt, that we actually got along was when we were having sex or right afterwards. Was that a normal thing, or was that something that only applied to us? 

Shikamaru had a girlfriend, Temari, and it threw me off at first since I thought that I no longer had the comfort he once provided... But as it turned out he said that if I was married then it was okay for him to have a girlfriend and still see me. I knew it was wrong, but Sasuke never brought it up. I knew he was blocking it out of his mind. He didn't want to admit the affair was even occurring.

I sat on the floor in the living room... Thinking about when I should tell Sasuke some recent news... Would he be mad, sad, happy? I didn't know how he would react... Would he yell? Turn away? Ask me if I was happy? I just didn't know. I ran my fingers across my stomach and let them dance over the surface. Thinking about what this meant, I realized how big of a step this would be in our lives.

He entered the room and stared at me, "Is something wrong?"

I looked down at my stomach, "I don't know... You tell me..."

"Ino... I don't think anything's wrong, is there?" Sasuke sat on the couch behind me and played with the hair draped around my shoulders. Ever since we got married I started to wear it down. Sasuke liked it better that way. "Is there?" He asked again, but in a little more irritated voice.

"I don't know..." I whispered, "Is... There something wrong with..." I just couldn't say it... I just couldn't bring the words to my lips at the moment. I closed my eyes and felt like crying... What if this destroyed us even more? Would a kid be a bad thing in this relationship?

"With what?" He said interested, "Is there something wrong with _what, _Ino?" Sasuke stopped playing with my hair and sat back against the couch waiting for my response.

"With being... Being..." I turned towards him and said calmly, "Being pregnant..."

Sasuke seemed to space out into his own little world for the next few moments as if he was just tuning everything out. Was he upset? Shocked?

* * *

I had not expected that! She was pregnant? Meaning we were going to have a _child? _Another person in our household? Someone we'd both have to care for? Could we even handle a kid? We can't even handle ourselves! I didn't respond to Ino for the longest time, and when I did it was blunt and emotionless. "We'll manage." I was just to shocked to even be upset or happy. 

She stared at me in disbelief, "We'll _manage,_ Sasuke, we'll manage?" Ino started to cry, "What the fuck is that suppose to mean Sasuke? Tell me! What in the world is that suppose to mean? We'll manage? I'm pregnant! We're going to have a kid! It's a huge responsibility! It's something we'll _barely _manage, if we _even _manage!"

"I know... We'll just... Manage." I stood up and left the room. What a mistake we made, what a huge mistake, and what were we to do about it? Nothing! We had to just deal with it. We'd have to just manage. There wasn't much else to say. That was it. End of story. We're having a kid, we'll have to raise it, and just deal with it.

She came after me, "Sasuke! Don't walk away!" She grabbed onto my shirt and sobbed, "Talk to me about this! I want to know what you think, besides that we have to manage... I want to know if you're angry or happy?"

"I'm fine... It doesn't bug me... This is a natural process in life, isn't it? Ino?" I asked looking at her, "Why are you crying? I thought you _wanted _kids... Didn't you?"

"I did... But we didn't plan this Sasu-"

"Who cares? Most things aren't planned, life is never planned... Ino... I never planned on fighting with you so much... I never planned on hurting you, or even getting married. _I _never planned any of that... And I didn't plan this..." I stroked her hair, "Don't be so upset about it... Like I said, we'll manage it."

Ino nodded a little. He voice was soft as she asked, wishing to be reassured, "You'll never leave me alone with the child will you? You'll stay here with me? Won't you?"

"I haven't ran away yet, have I? If I really didn't want to give our relationship a try I would have left a long time ago, and now that you're pregnant... Why should that change anything? I still have to care for you and make sure you're okay." I wondered why I never left in the first place... Maybe it was because it was really what my parents wanted, and I wanted to respect them...

The girl touched her stomach lightly, "It's kind of scary... Having a family... Don't you think?" I knew she was secretly excited, even if it was only a little bit. Every girl dreamed of becoming a mother even it was the slightest bit and they denied it with all their heart... Even a part of me wanted this... I wanted a child. I would have never wanted it before, but things change and your world turns upside down. Everything will fall into place... Won't it?

"It is kinda scary... But don't worry, everything will be fine." I stroked her hair a little more, "It won't be that bad..." I kissed her gently and then sat down on our bed. "I promise... Okay, Ino?"

She smiled little and kissed me before exiting the room, probably to make dinner, and tonight... I decided not to argue even if it was something I hated. I would eat it anyways...

* * *

Please review.

Tell me what you think.

**maidengirl **and **wonderwoman29** -Gives you candy-

Thanks for reviewing every chapter so far it helps a lot!

Nara Katie


	5. Name Game

**Not So Perfect After All**

**Chapter 5 "Name Game"**

**Rated: M**

* * *

Nothing ever comes out the way you plan. In a way it seems unfair, but in another way it is perfectly fair. Like it's fair for someone else, it makes someone else happy and it makes it fair to them... It just depends on who life is being fair to, but life will never always be fair to just one person. Something will always come up that was unexpected. 

I watched Sasuke's movements, and he seemed very calm, and every step he took was thought out. I decided to make him something he liked tonight because I didn't want him to get into an argument with me. I was hoping this child would actually bring us together more.. Maybe the fights would calm down? Maybe he wouldn't hit me as often... He never hit me because he hated me, I knew it was out of frustration... I knew this relationship wasn't the healthiest one we could have, but I swear we're both struggling.

We just weren't compatible... Well, not completely... We just fought more often than we should, other than that we were okay... Weren't we? Well... I was trying to believe that, and if I was trying to believe that, why did I still see Shikamaru? I finished up dinner and we ate in mere silence. I didn't understand how either of us could not find words. This was something huge. Something we needed to actually think about and take seriously.

We had finished eating, and we both were sitting at the table staring at each other. Finally he spoke out and asked, "What do you want it to be? Or, what are you hoping it'll be... Ya'know? Boy or girl?"

I nodded a little, "I know what you mean... I kind of want it to be a girl, but a boy would be okay... You're hoping for a boy right? To carry on your name..."

He avoided my gaze as I spoke. He muttered under his breath, "It doesn't really matter... Does it?" He seemed to be really thinking about it all... That was a good thing though... Right? Sasuke's eyes met mine and he asked, "Why would it matter? I don't care about letting the Uchiha clan live on... It doesn't matter to me."

* * *

"W-why?" She questioned as if I should care, I really did, but I wouldn't tell her that because I thought it would cause a conflict if it was a girl. She would do anything to prove that I was upset... I didn't understand Ino, although we had been married for about a year now, maybe I'd never understand her... 

"Because... It just doesn't matter." He started to stand taking her dishes, "I'll do the dishes tonight, okay Ino?" She simply nodded, but her eyes said she'd wish I'd stay and talk more on this subject... What did she want to talk about? What did she want me to say? Why did we have to talk about it now? We just found out she was even pregnant.

I washed the dishes in the sink and then put them away. Looking over my shoulder I saw Ino standing in the doorway from the dining room into the kitchen. She was staring of into nowhere, just standing there motionless. "Is something the matter?" I asked her.

"No... Just thinking... About what's going to h-happen..." Ino whispered looking at me and then turning back into her daze. "After the pregnancy... When we actually have the kid."

"Don't worry about it." I said, "Unless... You think... It might not be mine." I really hoped that wasn't the case, I really hoped she didn't actually sleep with Shikamaru... But she probably had at least once, she went over there a lot after a big fight. I shook the thoughts away from my head and waited for Ino's response.

"N-no!" She said in almost a panic, "I'm sure it's your's, we wouldn't it be?"

"Don't play stupid with me Ino..." I whispered taking a step towards her, my voice projecting as I continued to speak, "It's not like I don't have a brain, it's not like I'm not aware of your little aff-"

"Shut up!" She said shaking her head, "Stop assuming I'm cheating on you! Don't accuse me of fucking another guy! You don't know that! I only go over there, and he's only a friend! This _is _your child."

I looked away, "Okay Ino... Whatever you say."

"You don't... believe me... do you?" She asked as if she was afraid to hear that I really didn't believe her, because I didn't. How could I? She was over there, and she'd come back home with that- that lazy ass's smell all over her! And he had a girlfriend,who lived in Suna, so there was a very small chance of them getting caught! It was a perfect set up for Shikamaru and Ino... But I'm not oblivious...Even though I want to be.

"How can I?" I snapped clenching my fists, "How am I suppose to believe you? Tell me one good reason I should fucking believe the bullshit coming out of your mouth! Ino! Answer me, how can I believe you, when I know you think about him? I know when you leave the house, you see him... When you come home you stink of him! You smell just like sex! And you stand here, telling me to believe you only go over to his house as a _friend?_"

She had started crying by this time. Something so fragile, and I was slowly breaking it in my fist. I was gripping tighter, and sooner or later she would just shatter in my hand, and I was so unaware of it.

"Answer me!" I yelled at her, "How am I suppose to believe you?" I grabbed her by her shoulders and shook her a little more roughly than I should have, and it only made her sob. I got frustrated and gave up. I pushed her away and left the room when she didn't reply for several moments.

I smacked the wall with my fist and made my knuckles bleed. I was surprised the wall was still intact, but I couldn't complain. At least all I'd have to clean up is the blood I smeared against the clean white walls, rather than fixing a hole. Holding my fist for a moment I went to get a rag for the wall and cleaned up the blood.

The house seemed silent and I then realized Ino was probably gone. Walking around the house momentarily I spotted Ino out on the back porch... So she _hadn't_ left? I went to the back yard and stared at her, "Why are you still here?"

"D-do you w-want me to leave?" Ino embraced herself around the legs and staying curled up in a ball, crying into her knees, "Do you really want m-me to go? D-do you really hate me t-that much?" She clutched her skirt at the hem and wadded it into balls within her fists. I knew my words burned her, and I knew I was causing her pain.

* * *

"No..." He said calmly, "It's just... You usually leave by now..." 

I rubbed my eyes and looked at Sasuke. He was right, how could he believe me? And here I was bringing pity upon myself, when I was the guilty one. Sasuke was innocent, he always had been... Always trying to be truthful to me, trying to make me happy... And I never found it enough, I always had to have more...

"I know..." I whispered, "But... I didn't want to go this time... I thought maybe I could work it out with you... Just, ya'know, talk about it?"

"I don't want to talk about it." He said looking away from me. This tore me in two. After all that? And he didn't actually want to talk about it? Maybe I caused his anger and now he was just trying to calm down? Maybe talking about it would make him angry again?

"Okay..." Came my small reply. I started to stand up and straightened out my dress, "I'm going to go to bed..."

* * *

Ino was about five months along, and Tsunade said everything seemed to be fine... Ino was healthy, and the baby was likely to be healthy. I was starting to worry that something may go wrong, and if something did, would it be the child's life or Ino's? What if they were both to die? I would simply be alone... And would that be a good or bad thing? Would I be happier? It was horrible to want in the slightest bit... Horrible to even think. 

I was slightly paranoid, what if she did die? What if the baby died? How would that affect me, her, the child? What would happen? If the baby died, it would ruin me and Ino, and if Ino died I would have to raise a child by myself. That was it. I flipped a page in the book I was 'reading' and sighed as I glanced up at Ino who was looking through a name book. Every now and then giving me a suggestion... It had been five months and we still fought over the names.

"Yori?" She asked looking at me, "If it's a boy..."

At first that name seemed to turn me off, but I thought it out for a moment, and I actually liked it.. "Do you really like that name?" I asked, my eyes still fixed on the book.

"Yeah... I like it a lot..." She whispered.

"I do too." I replied and I didn't have to look at her face to know she was surprised. "What if it's a girl?"

"Uh..." She hesitated, "Yuri?"

"No." I said immediately, she had asked about that name several times, and she probably had with Yori, but not as much.

"Hikari?"

"Nah."

"Kyoko?"

"I don't like that one either."

"You don't like any girl names!" She snapped, "What about Mokoto?"

"Uh... No..." I said hearing the anger swell up in her voice.

"God Sasuke! What girl _do_ you like?" She stood up and slammed the book against the coffee table, "Tell me that Sasuke! Whatever name you like, we'll go with that! I'm sick of trying to figure out a name when every answer I get is-"

"Suki." I said looking at her, "I like Suki."

"S-Suki?" She had never once suggested that name, even though it was a common name, even though it was a beautiful name with a beautiful meaning.

"Yes... Suki... What do you think?"

She nodded and whispered, "I like that name..." She bit her lip and turned to leave the room.

"Ino... I love you."

She stopped in her tracks, "I love you too." Ino turned towards me and smiled, "I'm going to take a nap... Okay?"

"Okay..."

* * *

The affair was no longer a problem... Shikamaru had moved to Suna to marry and live with Temari... I would manage right? It was his time to move on and it was mine as well... Time to be serious, and actually try to raise a child with Sasuke. Try to make it all work out. I felt bad for even having the affair, but at the same time I felt helpless now that I didn't have someone to go to. 

Sasuke seemed to be relieved over that, but I never asked him about it. I didn't like mentioning the affair, and he didn't like the idea of it... After all... He told me about Sakura and how he pushed her away saying marriage was serious... And I was the one not taking it seriously.

The fights died down a little bit, but they still occurred. I hoped that they would cease when the baby was born... That was hoping a lot, and I knew the fights would never completely end.

* * *

Please review.

Tell me what you think.

Nara Katie


	6. Intensity

**Not So Perfect After All**

**Chapter 6 "The Intensity of This Twisted Love"**

**Rated: M**

* * *

I looked at my wife, sound asleep, and I was afraid to get out of bed... Afraid to wake her. She was so peaceful when she slept, and I believe things will work better because Shikamaru is gone. I was glad he was leaving, getting married, Ino was mine, and she was way before she gave half herself to him. I couldn't punish Ino for what she had done, I just couldn't... But now everything was better, it took stress off me and I no longer worried about her and him... I still questioned one thing... Was it my child? 

I sighed and cuddled up to the slowly growing Ino. I didn't mind, she was still beautiful, and I knew she would do everything to lose the weight when the baby was born. He touched her stomach lightly feeling the developing child kick my hand. I smiled and rested my head against Ino's back, and leaving my hand against her belly. I softy muttered, "I love you..." even though I knew she couldn't hear me.

Love worked in many ways, and the way loved worked within my household was strange. It could be normal, or it could be totally fucked up. We could be caring, or we could be rude. We could get along, or we could fight. We struggled, screamed, kicked, and tried in many other ways to make it work... But our love seemed to decide on its own when it wanted to cooperate.

When she finally did wake up she turned over in my arms and stared at me for a long moment. Ino looked uneasy, like she had something bad to say, and I didn't want to hear it... "I... I'm pretty sure..." She whispered, "It's your's.."

"Pretty sure?" I asked looking at her kind of hurt, "So there is a chance it's not?"

Ino closed her eyes, "I can't look at you when you look like that Sasuke-kun..."

"Answer me... Please?" I said stroking her hair, hoping she would just tell me the truth, even if it hurts me so badly I want to die.

"It could be... Shikamaru's..." She said sitting up, pulling away from my grasp.

I sat up with her, "Ino... Why?" I pushed away some of her hair and tucked it behind her ear, "Why would you do that?"

"B-because I knew he loved me..." She said averting her gaze, "But I didn't know if you did or not... It was so confusing..."

"So what?" I asked sternly, "Did you think this was some kind of game? Like Sakura did? I could've been having an affair too, but I pushed her away! I told her I wanted to try and do this the right way! And you, the one who originally wanted to marry me, was the one who wanted to act as though this wasn't important... As if marriage was a game?"

"I knew it wasn't a game!" She snapped, "I knew what I did was wrong, I knew I shouldn't have done it!" Ino stared at me, "I wasn't trying to win anything... It wasn't a game to me."

"You played it as if it was a game, as if there was something to win... Love maybe?" I asked coldly.

"Shut up! You don't know why, you don't know how it feels... To feel like me!"

"I'm going through the same shit you're going through Ino!" I snapped starting to get out of bed, "I hurt just as much as you do, I suffer the same amount, we do this together."

"We do not suffer the same amount." She hissed coldly, "You're a jackass- you're cold hearted! You could care less! I suffer more than you, I go through more pain, I hurt the most. I'm carrying this child, and you just sit and watch me suffer!"

"I do not!" I said defending myself, "I help you, I love you! If I'm a jackass- if I'm cold hearted, why didn't I have the affair? Why didn't I sleep around with another woman? Why didn't I go when I felt like dying, felt like crying, why didn't I just up and leave when I felt like shit? Ino! Why didn't I do that, if I'm so cold hearted? If I'm the bad guy in this situation..." I stared at her intensely, waiting for some more bullshit to come out of her mouth.

"I- I- what? Are you calling me the bad guy? Are you saying that I'm the cold hearted one?" She said trying to defend herself, "You hit me when you got mad, you yelled, you made me cry! You made me leave! It was your fault I hurt so bad, it was your fault I was sleeping with Shikamaru!" She screamed, "It's all your fault I feel this way! It's all your fault Sasuke!"

"It is not! You could have stayed! You didn't have to leave! It wasn't like I hit you and told you to leave the house, it wasn't like I yelled at you- telling you to go fuck your little boyfriend! Why are you blaming me? I'm at fault just as much as you for the fights- but not for your little affair... That was all you."

"Shut up! You made me feel like shit! You fucking yelled at me, you said things no one had said to me before! Sasuke you made me feel like I was worthless, wouldn't you too, go find someone who made you feel like something? Like you worth at least a little bit of their time?"

"You didn't have to.." I whispered. How dare she blame me? How can she put this all onto my back? How is it all my fault? It wasn't like I asked her to cheat on me! It wasn't like that, it was just because she was so-- so difficult! I didn't mean to hit her, I didn't mean to yell, it just happened! It wasn't as if I wanted her to cry, I wasn't trying to make her feel that way!

"Sasuke-kun... I-I-I know..." She cupped her face and began to cry, "I know it's not your fault!" She shook her head a little sobbing. Ino sat there, and I could feel the pain she felt. The intensity of our twisted love. I slowly sat back onto the bed, and without any words I told my wife how much I loved her... How much I wanted this to work. I pulled her into my arms, holding both her and the child. I didn't care if it wasn't mine, I'd still raise it as if it were mine.

She continued to cry, and I continued to hurt. My heart throbbed and ached, but I knew I couldn't flee this pain- this love- this insane life I live. This was what I get, what I'm destined to have, and no matter what_ I_ won't give up.

* * *

How can I feel so comforted now? After an argument like that? How can he take me into his arms and act as if he loves me? After all that shit he said? I don't understand my life. I don't understand this love! Our love... Nothing I've felt before. Something so horrible, so horribly beautiful it hurt... Yet it was the best feeling in the world. To know... That he still loved me after what I did... 

"Why?" I bluntly asked through my tears.

"Hm." Came the small response against his lips. He didn't open his mouth but simply made that small noise. As if it were to explain everything, but it didn't. It didn't explain anything!

"Sasuke... I want to know why?" I said quietly rubbing my eyes, "Why does this feel... So different than what we were just feeling?"

"Because... We share our pain... Ino-chan... We both suffer." He looked up and continued, "I don't want you to suffer alone... I want to help you, and make sure you're okay... Alright?"

I nodded a bit and whispered, "I'm sorry... For the fight... For blaming you for my mistakes."

"Hm." He mumbled again.

I was so confused... I didn't understand this feeling... We shared our pain? Even if it hurts so bad, it's as if half the pain is already gone, because we share it? It is divided into two... A half given to the other, then the half given is replaces with love? Is that how it worked between us? Is that how...

"It would hurt more... Ino... If our pain was not shared." He said softly under his breath, "But... It hurts a decent amount, an amount we both can withstand... Together."

"I understand... Sasuke-kun." I whispered.

But did I really understand? This life? This pain? This love? Did I really understand this intensity... This strong feeling... Whelming up inside me? Did I really understand?

Sasuke pulled away and nodded a bit, "I'm going to take a shower... Did you want to take one too?" He stood up and helped me up. I didn't even need to answer. He already knew that I would.

"Sasuke." I started, "I hope it's your's..." I looked away for a moment and tried not to cry, "I really do hope so."

"I do too... I won't abandon the child if it's not mine though, because... Because it's your's." He hugged me a little bit, "I understand why you did what you did, and I know how much you hurt... So don't worry about it... Ino, I still love you."

I didn't know how to react. I didn't know why I deserved such forgiveness... Maybe it was he who needed to forgive me? Maybe he needed it for himself, to be relieved? Maybe he felt to guilty staying mad at me? I tried to smile, "I love you too..."

I may never understand the intensity of our love, but I do understand that no matter what... He's not the type to give up.

* * *

I know, it's a little shorter than the other chapters, but I hope it's still enjoyable.

Please review.

Nara Katie


	7. History Repeats

**Not So Perfect After All**

**Chapter 7 "History Repeats itself"**

**Rated: M**

* * *

The fights never ceased, and they never would. I knew deep down in my heart I loved my wife, but things were so difficult after Yori was born. A beautiful baby boy, who resembled his father completely, with his mother's eyes. It was clear that it was my child and not that of Shikamaru's. Luckily, it was a son, a boy, to carry on my name, to carry on the Uchiha bloodline. It was important to me, but I never mentioned that to Ino. 

Ino became thin right away, and looked as if she never had a child... But some people were like that if they have only one child... Maybe two? She was a beautiful woman, someone who made men gape and fall to their knees. The child was only two years of age and things seemed to be fine- raising him- but the arguments only grew into a larger number. Was it the fact we had a kid? Or was it simply because we had always fought and it only grew? Never shrunk.

"Mommy." Yori said softly hugging her.

"What is baby?" She asked stroking his black hair.

"I love you!" He said happily climbing into her lap and cuddling with her. I watched out of the corner of my eye taking a small sip of my tea. I hid behind a book and simply watched my unbalanced family.

She smiled, "I love you too." Kissing his forehead, Ino then whispered something in his ear. He giggled a little and retreated from Ino's lap to run into my legs and give them a tight kid squeeze.

"I love Da!" He cheered into my leg. Staring down at the child, something flashed into my mind... All the times my father ignored me... The neglect I endured, when Itachi got all the praise, but if we only had one kid... There would be no problems... He wouldn't have to feel any pain...

I set the book down and picked my boy up, "I love you too!" He grinned and I couldn't help but smile, knowing Ino was smiling just like we were. I hoped, and I knew it was hopeless to hope, but I stiled hoped we'd be completely happy someday.

* * *

I guess things didn't go over so well... He was Sasuke's child, it was obvious, but we fought more now that he was growing. I didn't understand, I thought we'd both start being nicer and try to make this family work, but we did almost the opposite. I knew Yori heard our fights sometimes, but I prayed he didn't think much of it. I didn't just pray for happiness, I prayed for a lot, and the more I prayed, the worse my life seemed to get, so I prayed God would please answer my prayers just once for a change. 

Sighing I smiled a little as Sasuke payed attention to his son. I always liked it when Sasuke wasn't self centered with his nose stuck in a book and completely ignoring everyone. Standing up I grabbed my coat and purse, "I'll be back in a few minutes, I'm going to the store."

"Okay..." Sasuke said softly as I left. I closed the door softly and walked out into the cold. taking a small breath I started to walk into town. I needed to get some food, and that was about it, but I wanted to linger... I wanted to let Sasuke bond with his child a little more, and I prayed they would.

Fumbling with a toy at some store I wondered for a moment... What it would be like if it had been Shikamaru's child, how would it have effected us? Would it be worse? Would it be better in some twisted way? I stopped touching the toy and moved on.

I decided to do my shopping later and found myself sitting on a bench at the park. I didn't expect to see anyone I knew, but there she was sitting across from me with a smile.

"How are you Ino?" She asked her bright green eyes piercing straight through my blue ones.

"I'm fine..." I said wondering how long it had actually been since I had seen my childhood friend. She was so different now, and so mature, but as you grow up that's what's suppose to happen right?

"Where's Sasuke... and your kid?" She had hesitated, and I knew Sakura had forgotten Yori's name.

"They're at home." I smiled a little, "How have you been?"

Sakura sat up a little and grinned with that bright red lip stick plastered to her lips. She then couldn't hold it back and announced excitedly, "I'm getting married!" She then leaned forward, "I can't believe I said yes, but I did!"

"That's great." I thought a moment before saying, "You're still with-"

"Naruto right?" Sakura finished for me. She then continued talking, "Of course, it's not like I'd jump into some other relationship and quickly decide to marry the guy."

"Yeah?" I said looking away, "How long have you been with him now? A year?"

"And a half." She corrected me. The girl's pink hair had grown out quite a bit, and gave her that young look again. She flipped it behind her back and started to talk again, "I know he use to be so annoying when we were younger, but he's quite sweet... I mean, I kinda feel bad for being rude to him all the time."

The pointless conversation continued on for a long while until I finally spoke up and said, "I need to get my shopping done... So I'm going to go now, okay?"

Sakura smiled, "Okay..." And as I stood up, she added, "And... Ino... Shikamaru will be staying in Konoha for the weekend... To visit Choji." I froze for a moment... Shikamaru... I'm sure he had been back in Konoha before, but I hadn't seen him since he moved to Suna to marry that Temari girl.

I ignored Sakura and walked away. Shikamaru... Back in Konoha? Why should I even care? Oh god! Who was I kidding? He was my best friend, he was my... My affair... It wasn't like I didn't want to see him, but at the same I knew it was best if I didn't. It would be the best thing for me, Sasuke, and Yori.

I finished up my shopping with the thought of Shikamaru dwelling in my mind. I wanted to see him, at least talk to hom, it didn't mean I had to do anything with him! We both were married... And knew Sakura had told me for a reason... Did Shika want to see me? And by the sounds of it he was staying with Choji... Maybe I could just stop by and check this weekend?

* * *

I played with Yori until Ino got back. She seemed timid about something but I didn't say anything. Taking Yori up into my arms I said, "Mommy's home!" 

He giggled and reached out to Ino who set the shopping bags down and taking the child. "Can you get the groceries Sasuke?" She asked kissing Yori's forehead and smiling, "I missed you baby."

I picked up the bags and took them to the kitchen, "Do you want me to make dinner tonight?"

"Please?" Ino asked following me into the kitchen, "I'm a little tired..."

Yori clung to Ino and buried his face in her neck. I couldn't help but smile, "Maybe you two should take a nap?"

Ino nodded and left the room. I sighed and put the groceries away before entering the bedroom and lying down with my wife and kid. Things seemed to be okay right now, but I knew something would come up and ruin our day. It was the way it always worked.

* * *

Days passed and weekend came about, I debated on if I should go to Choji's or not. I wasn't even sure if Shikamaru would even be there, but I wanted to see him. Gaining the courage I finally told Sasuke I was going to visit my parents and left the house. 

I hesitantly knocked on Choji's door and tried to smile when someone answered the door.. I hadn't expected it to be Shikamaru who would answer, considering it wasn't his house, but he did. "Choji's in the..." Shika stopped and stared at me before asking, "Ino? Why are you here?"

"I actually... Heard you'd be here for the weekend..." I said looking away, "I just wanted to see you..."

He let me come in, saying Choji wouldn't mind. He sat down at the table and questioned quietly, "Why did you want to see me?"

I tried not to look hurt, "Shikamaru, we were best friends... Just because... Just because of the affair doesn't mean we can't be friends, right?"

"I suppose not." He responded, looking over his shoulder as Choji entered the room.

"Ino!" He said happily as he hugged me.

"It's been a while hasn't it?" I asked.

Choji smiled a little, "We all should go out to eat! Like when we were a team!"

Shikamaru looked at me, and I looked at him before smiling, "We should." I looked back at Choji and asked, "Where would you like to go?"

There I found myself eating at a small diner with my two friends, like we use to all the time. I couldn't help but feel like I had never been ready to grow up, and get married, have a kid, I wished I could go back to my ninja years, when that was my goal and I merely was crushing on the man I'm married to.

We talked and laughed, and it was the most fun I had in years. I found myself dreading departure, I didn't want to go, I wanted to stay with Shikamaru and Choji. Frowning a little I said, "I probably should go home soon... I do have a two-year-old boy who probably is wondering where I am right now."

Choji waved a little, told me how great it was to see me again, and I swiftly left the diner. Half way down the street I realized Shikamaru was behind me, "Ino... If you don't mind, I want to see you tomorrow, alone... Just you and me... Choji has a date with his girlfriend tomorrow anyways... I mean, you could stop by until he leaves and then we can... Talk."

"It's all too troublesome." I said looking away.

"No, Ino, don't say that god damned word." He said in a begging tone, "I know everything was troublesome to me, I know I complained, but I promise you it's no trouble."

"I meant for me. I have a child..." I stopped, "A child I worried might have been your's... God, I was freaking out when I found out I was pregnant, and it was right after you got married, and--"

"I don't want to have sex with you Ino... I just want to talk to you..." He assured me.

"Okay... I'll come over tomorrow... But don't expect me there early, I'm assuming he's having his date in the evening."

"Yeah." He said before turning back towards the diner, "I'll... See you tomorrow."

I felt horrible, I wanted to see him, but I was unsure of being alone with him, I was afraid I'd get carried away. I hurried home and entered the house trying to rid myself of the worry on my face.

* * *

I'm sorry for the long wait, I've been busy with a lot of things lately, and I apologize.

Nara Katie


	8. Stabbed in the Back

**Not So Perfect After All**

**Chapter 8 "Stabbed in the Back"**

**Rated: M**

* * *

I knew Ino was acting a little funny, but I didn't want to bring it up right then. Maybe after we got Yori to bed. I watched her enter the house, and Yori jump to his feet before embracing his mother's legs and laughing. He talked some jibberish, gleamed up at her with those beautiful blue eyes, and smiled sweetly. Ino, who responded with a small, "Is that so?" picked up her son and hugged him, "Why don't you tell me more?" He only grinned at her, but no more words poured out of his mouth. 

I watched for a long moment before saying, "There's left over lunch in the kitchen, I don't know if you ate at your parents or not... But there is food."

Ino nodded and kissed Yori softly, "What do you want to eat for dinner tonight?"

"I don't care... Anything..." I replied before prying Yori away from her, "I'm going to put him down for his nap." I was lucky the boy never complained abut going to bed. He never whined or cried, simply told us night-night and went to sleep. Sometimes he complained about sleeping alone, but that was about it.

After getting Yori to lie down, I played the waiting game, I'd wait about ten minutes before bringing up Ino's slightly weird behavior. You never know, maybe something isn't even wrong? Finally I said, "Are you okay?"

She looked away, "What do you mean?"

I took a step towards her and placed a hand on her shoulder, "You looked a little upset when you came home, yesterday and today."

"Oh... Nothing's the matter... I just feel a little... Weird lately... I'm going to go eat dinner with Sakura tomorrow, is that okay?" She asked rubbing her arm, "I know I don't really like her, but I didn't want to be rude."

"I understand." I murmured softly. Was there something she was doing? Three days in a row she was out of the house... Was it possibly just a coincidence?

She looked away, "I'm sorry, I really am..."

* * *

I found myself hesitantly and Choji's house again. I slowly knocked and awaited for someone to answer the door. Once again Shika answered and this time he smiled, "Choji left about five minutes ago, you have good timing." He let me in shut the door. I didn't expect to be in his arms, but in a quick moment he was hugging me. 

"Shikamaru..." I whispered, "What did you want to talk about?" I gazed up at him and tried not to look concerned... I knew what was going to happen, I knew since the moment I agreed to come, and what I was expecting happened. In another swift moment Shikamaru's lips were pressed hard against mine, as if making up for lost time.

I pulled away, "You said you didn't want to--"

"I said I didn't want to have sex with you Ino, I know I said that!" He exclaimed hugging me, "But I love you Ino... You do know that? I love you so much..."

"But you have Temari..." I said pulling away again, "What about her? How can you tell me this when you have her? You moved to Suna for her! You left me for her." I rubbed my eye, "I understand... I'm married, and you had to move on... But I never wanted to get married like that! You at least got to choose."

"But I didn't get to choose the girl I truly love." He said rubbing my cheek, "I couldn't have her... She was already taken from me..."

"Shikamaru... Don't say that... You're happy aren't you?" I asked timidly.

"Are you happy?" He asked ignoring the very question he just asked.

"I asked you first Shikamaru! Answer me, are you happy with her?" I asked angrily.

"Not as happy as I would be with you."

"But happy?" He simply nodded, and I continued, "I'm happy... Some days... I'm happy when Sasuke doesn't yell, when he acts like a husband, when he doesn't hit me, or argue with me... I'm happy when my son hugs me and tells me some nonsense... But most of the time I'm not. I'm constantly yelled at... I'm fighting with him every day, we yell, and it hurts... It's never... Stopped... Only when I was pregnant, that was the best time of my life with him... And even at that I was worried, and freaking out about it. God, Shika, what if Yori was your child?"

"I... I don't know Ino..." He said kissing me again, "But I want you to know... I love you... And you shouldn't be treated this way... Someone like you doesn't deserve such punishment." He kissed me again, and again. Before we knew it we were on Choji's couch, and then on the floor, and just as he started to remove my shirt, I stopped.

"Shika..." I whispered worriedly, "Please... I don't think we should..."

He sat up and rolled my shirt back over my flesh, "I understand..." He tried to smile, "I'm sorry."

I looked away, "It's okay..." I stayed put on the couch and thought for a long moment. "Shikamaru..." I said quietly, "Is that why you wanted me to come over, even though you said it wasn't?"

"No," he responded, "I just wanted to be with you." He leaned over and kissed me softly, "Did you know I think about you sometimes?"

I shook my head, not saying anything because I didn't really ever think of him, and now that I thought about it... I didn't love him all that much. "It's hard to think of something you can't have when you have something else to occupy your mind... It sounds like Temari isn't very time consuming on you mind."

"She's gone all the time. Telling me she's checking on Gaara, working, and I know... She's not." He whispered quietly, "I know she cheats on me."

"Shikamaru... Why don't you do something about it?" I asked quietly.

"Because I know I don't want to piss her off... Let's just say fights with Temari don' turn out very pretty." He scratched the back of his head and looked away, "I wish I could say I was happy..."

"Having sex with me won't even you up with her, or make our lives right... There must be a reason we're not together Shika... There must be a reason we both are going through this." I grabbed his hand, "I love you, but not as much as I once did... I-I fell in love with Sasuke, and not just a petty crush like when we were in school... I fell in love with him even though we fight every day, even though he hits me and over reacts, even though neither of us can get past or pride and fucking just get these childish fights over! S-Shika... I can't give you what you want tonight, because it doesn't help me any more than it would help you." I started to cry, "This doesn't hep either of us..."

He bit his lip and said, "What are you saying? It won't help me any more?" Shikamaru looked away, "Please explain to me what you mean, I don't understand, I love you... And Temari doesn't love me as much as she did, neither of you do... So how is this going to make me feel better?"

"Because you need to talk to her." I whispered, "Tell her you know... Tell her you want to make things work and that you love her... Tell her marriage is not a game, tell you love her, Shikamaru... Please just tell her how much you love her." I knew she would understand, and she would feel horrible, what woman wouldn't? But of course... I didn't Temari well enough to tell Shika it would make it all better, or she would feel bad or even understand.

Shikamaru pulled his hand away and rubbed his temples, "It's not that simple! Temari would give me that 'I'm higher that you' look and continue her affair... I doubt she even loves me anymore!" He shook his head, "This fell apart Ino! I can't fix them! I gave up." I could hear the tears in his throat and it made me cry.

"I know your in pain, Shika... But you said you gave up?" I paused, "Maybe that's why she continues the affairs... Maybe you're neglecting her? You have to think about how she feels, because maybe it's not as simple and falling out of love." I rubbed my eyes, "Please just try to talk to her."

Shikamaru stopped and said, "Maybe you're right..."

I started to stand up, forcing myself to stop crying, "I really need to get home..." I hugged him quickly, "I'm sorry you didn't get what you wanted, but I hope everything works with Temari." Without any more words I hurried out of Choji's house and started to cry once more. Taking my time on the walk home I thought about what I had done and felt pretty satisfied with my decision.

* * *

I heard a knock on my door, and with Yori still in my arms I answered the door to find someone I didn't really want to see. The very person my wife was suppose to be eating dinner with. Setting my kid down I told him to play and focused on the girl who had a smile plastered to her bright cherry red lipsticked face. "What do you want?" 

"To tell you where Ino is." She said entering the house and closing the door. "She has been leaving the house lately huh?" Sakura leaned against the wall and continued, "I've seen where she's been."

"Why don't you mind you own business Sakura?" I asked looking back to make sure Yori was playing.

"Because I think you want to know where she's been." Sakura inquired softly pushing herself away from the wall and approaching me. Those red lips whispered against my ears, "I saw her going to Choji's... Yesterday and today."

I hook my head a little, "Why?"

"Because Shika's in town." She said pulling away and smiling, "I'll see you around, 'kay?" With that Sakura twiddled her fingers in good-bye and said, "Thought you might have wanted to know." As she opened the door and Ino was standing on the porch.

Ino looked at Sakura with fear, and I knew she knew, she was busted.

"I-Ino." I spoke out coldly, "W-why?"

"Sasuke!" she pleaded out, "This isn't what you think! I swear it's not what you think!" She turned towards Sakura, "What the fuck did you tell him?"

"Just where you've been." She winked, "I hope you have a happy rest of you're life."

"You're a bitch." Ino sneered on the verge of tears, "I thought you were a decent person, but you're really cruel, did you know that?"

I couldn't tell if Ino was guilty or innocent. I mean she did lie to me and say she was eating with Sakura, clearly she hadn't been! I watched Sakura walk away and Ino drop to the ground, sobbing into her hands, "I didn't do anything Sasuke... I swear."

"How could you do this to me again, Ino, how the hell can you turn around and fucking do this again? And don't tell me you didn't do anything! How am I suppose to believe a word you say when you lied to me? You told me you went to your parents, you told me you were having dinner with Sakura, and you weren't!" I roughly grabbed her arm and pulled her into the house.

* * *

Nara Katie


	9. Restless Mind

**Not So Perfect After All**

**Chapter 9 "Restless Mind"**

**Rated: M**

* * *

I knew it was unlikely for Sasuke to believe me, after all, I did lie to him... I did go see Shikamaru when I said I was going to do other things. I did deserve some punishment, didn't I? But I didn't deserve the whole damn load. I mean, I cut it off! I ended anything to do with Shikamaru that was too sexual before it could happen again! I did the right thing. 

Sasuke, regardless of Yori standing in the doorway of his bedroom, slammed me against the wall. "Please, I beg you... Listen to me." I whispered, "I didn't sleep with him again... I just talked to him... I even told him I wouldn't do it, because I love you."

The look in Sasuke's eyes told me he didn't believe what I was saying. I looked over at Yori and aidtrying not to cry anymore than I was, "Baby... Please play in your room..." Without any words the boy quickly shut his door. I started crying harder as Sasuke smacked me, "Stop please..."

"Ino." He whispered pulling me into our bedroom, "How the hell could you?" He pushed me with brute force that made me fall to the ground. I stayed there and didn't move. I wished he believed me, and then I wished I had fucked Shikamaru. Then I would be getting the right amount of punishment instead of way more than I should... But at the same time, I'd rather be punished for what I didn't do than for what I had. If I had sex with Shikamaru, I'd deserve more punishment in my mind.

"Get up!" He yelled. I simply shook my head and cried more and more. I covered my face with my hair and curled up into a ball. Sasuke kept telling me to get up, told me to stop acting like he was the bad guy. I knew I couldn't stay on the ground forever, but I knew he couldn't stand there yelling at me forever either.

I couldn't find any words anymore. I didn't know how to defend myself any longer. I just let him yell until he finally pulled me up to my feet and shook me. By then I had topped crying. I snapped, "Let me go! I did what I could to make this a better marriage! I told him it was over completely! Sasuke, why don't you believe me? You're being fucking immature!"

He slowly let me go and said, "How can I believe you? You lied to me, how do I know you're not lying again?" Sasuke watched me fall back to the floor, and he sat on the bed.

"I love you Sasuke, and I told him that, I swear I did... I told him to go fix things with his wife... They're having problems, and I told him having an affair with me won't help." I said hopefully.

He sighed, "I.. I think I believe you Ino..."

"You think?" I asked covering my face, "What am I? Your enemy? I am your wife! I swear to Sasuke!" I took a deep breath. I continued to inhale deeply until I felt his arms snake around my waist.

I looked at my husband and hugged him tightly, "I was trying to do the right thing..." I couldn't find anymore words, but I quickly kissed him. His lips pressed back against mine and mine back against his. He pulled away and whispered, "I'll get Yori to bed, okay baby?"

I nodded and watched Sasuke leave. Standing up I followed him and stood in the doorway as Sasuke talked and put our child to bed. I couldn't help but smile just a little when Yori asked me to kiss him good-night. I prayed as I hugged my baby. I prayed that by me making the best choice I could tonight, that things would get better and not worse. "I love you baby," I whispered kissing him softly and standing up.

* * *

I felt horrible for what I had done. Hurting Ino like I did, and I believe that she was telling the truth, and I jumped to a conclusion and took my anger out to quickly. After we put Yori to bed I found myself kissing my wife and trying to make up for what I had done. I didn't know any other way to tell her I was sorry. 

Ino laid down on the bed and I got on top of her. Taking her breasts into my hands I leaned down and kissed her again. Ino reached up and tugged at my shirt, trying to get it off. When she failed I pulled it away from my skin and watched her peel her own shirt off.

Once we both were out of our clothing, I moved in between her legs slowly moving in and out of her. I watched her softly moan hesitantly and only when I thrust. We may have done this so many times before, but Ino always had an uncertainty about it, and I didn't understand why.

I gained speed, but then slowed down again, feeling as if that what she wanted me to do... As if she wanted me to just take every moment of this uncertainty in. I couldn't understand the vibe I got from my wife, but I knew we had a connection.

I held her close to me, trying to tell her I was sorry. I couldn't find any words, only actions... Why was it when ever I said sorry it was through sex? Why did I have so much pride I couldn't bring words to comfort her?

She softly whispered, "I'm sorry I didn't tell you the truth..."

I quietly replied, "I forgive you Ino..." I tried to say I was sorry as well, but my lips only quivered, and to cover it up I kissed her gently.

She started crying, "Why is nothing ever right with us? Why is everything always so wrong Sasuke?" Ino buried her face into my shoulder and sobbed, "Why?"

I came to stop and just held her close to me. "I don't know..."I looked away as Ino cried, "I don't know why."

"I've tried so hard, and I just don't know if I should try anymore." Ino pulled away and looked up at me, "I just don't know anymore..."

"Please don't ever give up on us, Ino." I said holding her even more tightly, "Don't ever say you're giving up... We can keep trying."

"What if it gets us no where?" She pleaded secretly, "What if we just never work out?" Ino pulled away, "Sasuke it's not working! It'll never work..."

"Don't say that!" I snapped. I was angry with her, "We can't ever give up." I didn't want her to think that way, because, well, I loved her.

She started to stand up and got redressed, "I'm going to go outside, okay?"

* * *

I sighed as I sat in the back yard gazing up at the brisk sky. The cold air pressed against my face I suddenly shivered and wrapped the blanket around myself tightly. Why couldn't I just be happy? Why did I always look at the dark side of everything? Why couldn't I just look at the bright side? Why could I make it work? 

You can't do much on your own... You may achieve a lot on your own, but when it comes to something great, usually it's done with at least one other person... Happiness was a lot to achieve, and probably the hardest thing of all. Why did everyone strive for that feeling when it was so much easier to be anger or upset all the time? You feel incomplete without happiness, and it is a feeling I'm all to familiar with.

Nothing fills this empty hole where happiness should be. Nothing comforts the cold within my heart, even though they may try. Why is it I try so hard, maybe even too hard, and I achieve nothing at all? Is my life worthless, pointless, is it meaningless? Maybe my life is just an extra one floating around. Maybe God intended no real purpose for me, if there was such thing as God, if there was such a thing as purpose, maybe everyone's life was meaningless... And the only reason anyone ever full fills something is to have that feeling of purpose though it doesn't truly exist.

Or maybe that theory is wrong and maybe everyone has a purpose, even if it's a small purpose... Maybe something to do that brings the world to fit together... Like a puzzle. Maybe my purpose is to fight, maybe it's to make my son realize no one's perfect and make sure he does not follow that pride running through his veins... Maybe... Or maybe I'm just thinking a little too... Hard.

I stared up at the sky, and watched a shooting star streak across the sky... And the first thing that came to mind was to make a wish... And I wished I could escape my unhappiness sometime soon. If praying didn't work, why not simply wish?

The next morning I barely remembered climbing back into bed with Sasuke, but there I was cuddled up to him. Why was it I always found myself close to him in my sleep... As if longing for his love, telling him I was pleading for the happiness I so desperately wanted, but we were only asleep, and he was unaware of my cry.

Sitting up, I pulled my hair back into a pony-tail and got out of the bed. I made it into Yori's room, to make sure he was still sleeping, and sure enough he was. Smiling I slowly shut the door and looked up at the ceiling.

My smile faded slowly and I started to think again... Was there a point to living? And if there was what was it? Maybe my point in living was for Yori... To take care of him... Maybe Yori was my purpose? And maybe Yori was just an extra life, and maybe... Nothing ever really mattered.

Why was I even dwelling on these thoughts? I shook my head a little bit and sighed. What was I ever to do with myself? I didn't understand my life and I doubted I ever would. I doubted Sasuke and I would ever get along, but he wanted to try, and wanted to try, and wanted to try. Over and over and over again... It was the same thing. Let's _try,_ when would if be- "Let's do," I whispered, "will... Never happen."

There was no more hope for me... Was there?

My head throbbed and my bed ached. Was my life even worth living? I shook my head a little and groaned, what was my purpose? What was I still here for? Yori? Was Yori even worth it? My only child, the only thing I felt I really loved, and even if I loved him... He was one reason my life was so complicated.

* * *

I'm sorry if I don't update for a long time. I had so much school work, and I got casted in a play, and Christmas is coming up in a few days. I need to practice lines and do some over the break homework and bleh. I love you all! Review pleeease and thank you!

:3

Nara Katie


	10. Relization

**Not So Perfect After All**

**Chapter 10 "Realization and Yori's Creation"**

**Rated: M**

* * *

One way out... One choice to end it all... Death, or more specifically-- Suicide. I had been dwelling on this thought for a long while now. It was selfish, and horrible, but I had a right to be selfish... Right? I mean I had tried so had to be selfless, that this one thing was okay to ask for, right? Oh god, who was I kidding? I've been really selfish... 

Fumbling with my spoon I tried to smile as Yori ate his cereal... He was so cute, and I was happy he was my child... So quiet and obedient... I loved him more than anything in this world, and it felt like he was the only thing that bound me to stay in the place.

Yori peered up at me, "Mommy?" The now nine-year-old boy pushed his bowl aside and looked away, "You wouldn't... Leave us would you?"

"What do you mean baby?" I asked blinking. He couldn't have possibly read my mind, could he? I set my spoon down and asked once more, "What do you mean?"

"I mean.. You're not going to leave Daddy are you? I mean... You know how Naruto left Sakura? Because they fought too much... You're not going to do that to Daddy are you?" He asked looking back at me... He seemed to be on the verge of tears, "Because I love you and Dad... I like it when we can be a family."

"I'm not going to leave-- I promise you Yori..." I picked up his bowl and my own as I stood up, "Understand? We're a family and we'll stay a family." I set the dishes in the sink after pouring the milk down the drain, "Forever."

"Forever?" He asked hesitantly, "This isn't just an empty promise, like all of Dad's? Is it?"

I was surprised he even asked something like that, but I turned to him and cupped his checks. Staring at him intently I spoke in the most serious tone possible, "I promise you, Yori. Forever."

I let go of his checks slowly and he nodded, "I love you and Daddy..."

"And we love you too..." I said quietly.

"Why doesn't Dad ever tell me he does?" Yori asked rubbing his eyes, which were tearing up again.

"He doesn't know how to..." I said hugging him, "Daddy has troubles expressing himself... And he tries to show you he loves you, but it never comes out right... You have to understand... Dad doesn't like showing his weaknesses."

"Am I a weakness?" He asked quietly into my chest, "Is that why he never tells me?"

I didn't answer him... I simply started to cry and rocked him in my arms. I held him so tight, I thought I might have been suffocating him. "Mommy... Why are you crying?"

"I don't know baby..." I whispered crying even harder, "I don't know..." I knew perfectly why, I knew that deep inside I was dying, and I just wanted to die that much faster... But I didn't want to leave Yori, I didn't want to do that to him or Sasuke. Suicide just wasn't the answer I was looking for.

* * *

I came home to a very quiet house... It felt really different to me... I looked around uneasily and called out, "Ino? Yori?" Usually Yori was running around the house or something. Closing the door behid me I checked Yori's bedroom but no one was in there. 

Next, I checked my room to find Ino and Yori fast asleep in our bed. Sitting on the bed I smiled a little... It was rare to find either of the two napping. Especially at Yori's age.

I slowly laid down with the two and sighed. This was my life, this was my place, and I sometimes wondered how my life would have turned out if I went after my brother... What stupid things would I have done?

I soon found myself sleeping, and when I woke back up, the only person who had left was Yori. Reaching out I stroked Ino's cheek and sighed, "I love you..." I wished sometimes that I could act the way I felt about her... Instead of this hard shell covering all my inner feelings. She was important to me... And I just couldn't tell her how much she really was.

Sitting up I decided to go check on Yori. I found the boy in the kitchen, he was sitting at the table drawing in a sketch book Ino had bought a long time ago. "Hey dad..." He whispered not looking up from his 'work'.

"Hey... What are you doing?" I asked sitting at the table with him.

"Drawing..." He said simply. His raven hair covered his eyes, and he seemed to choke on his words, "Drawing... You..." He rubbed his eye, "And Mommy... And me..." Looking up he whispered, "I think Mommy would like it." Yori's eyes were glazed over with tears, the blue shimmered, and I then realized how much those eyes reminded me of Ino... How delicate and watery they looked.

"Why are you crying about it?" I asked looking at him, slightly confused, "If you think Mom will like it, she probably will, so why are you upset?"

"I'm not crying!" He snapped looking away and then back at his drawing. Pressing the pencil back to the paper he said softly, "Mommy says... that she loves me and you..." He coughed, letting a few tears fall onto his paper.

"Yori... We cry it about it? That's a good thing..." I said reassuring my son. Why was he so upset? I saw nothing to be upset about... Until he spoke again.

"But... I don't know..." He rubbed his eyes, trying so hard not to cry, "If you love us... Mommy says you do-- but... I don't... I don't..." At this point, Yori started to sob into his hands, letting the pencil fall to the floor, "I don't think you love me... Or Mommy.." He choked on his words again, "All y-you do is yell an-and..." He shook his head a little and looked at me. The words came out choppy and sloppy as he cried, "An-an-and... H-hit Mommy..."

My eyes seemed to avert from Yori's. I didn't want to look at my son... Being confronted like that was such a horrible feeling... My flaws being pointed out by a mere child, and yet, I was the only one to blame. I allowed him to hear our fights. I allowed him to see me strike Ino, and I was raising him in such a bad home... And I was such a bad father...

I finally looked at my boy and said, "Yori... I... I really do love you and Mommy."

"Then why?" He asked picking up his pencil off the floor and setting it on the table. His tears seemed to stop, "Why hurt Mom like you do? Why yell at her? Why do you do that to her if you love her? My friends tell me... That their parents love each other... They tell me they're so happy every day... And I can't lie to them... Dad... I never am happy... They ask me why, and I never tell them... They ask me questions... Teachers wonder... And then they talk to Mom... And Mom tells them I'm making up stories..."

How could a nine-year old boy be so mature? How could he be so aware of everything? How could he be so sad? Weren't kids suppose to be ha-- and then I realized... I was never happy in my childhood... My dad never told me I loved him-- he always praised Itachi, Itachi this, Itachi that... I always wondered... Why not me? Why didn't he love me? Why didn't he see how hard tried to impress him... Itachi barely tried and got more praise, and I tried as hard as I fucking could and got a _Itachi can do better... _or _Itachi did better at your age. _

I should tell my son I love him, I should tell him how much I care... I was just now realizing I was making my son feel the same pain I did, the pain of no love from a father... You yearn so desperately to be loved, you try so hard to be accepted by your father and all you get is your mother telling you, what you think is a lie, _He loves you baby, he loves you so much..._

I slowly stood up and wrapped my arms around the boy, "Yori... I love you so much... I love you so much more than you know, and I love your mother..." He hugged him tightly, "Yori, I love you..." I took a deep breath, "I didn't mean to make you think I didn't, I didn't mean to hurt your mother... I don't know how to make up for what I've done... But I will try to be better... Do you understand? Yori?"

He nodded slowly, "I love you Dad... Will you... Stop yelling at Mom?" Yori looked away, "And not hit her anymore? I hate it when Mom cries..."

"I'll try, I promise..." I whispered, "I never meant to hurt you guys... I never meant to yell..." I slowly pulled away, "I love you Yori..." I just couldn't say it enough. I really loved him, and I loved him more than my dad ever loved Itachi... But could I really change? Could I really stop the fighting with Ino?

I slowly let go of Yori and picked up his picture, even if the picture was now smudged with tears, it was still the best picture I had ever seen. "Give it to Mom... She'll love it Yori..."

He smiled a little, "Okay." He took the picture and ran into the bedroom...

I sighed... How could I let my life turn into such a mess... Was it so far ruined that I couldn't change it? Or was there enough time for me turn the tables and make this work?

* * *

I woke up to my son saying, "Mom! Mom!" His eyes were red and I could tell he had been crying. I was slightly confused. 

I sat up and said with sleep still in my voice, "Baby's what's wrong?" I hugged him slightly, and then he handed me a paper.

Smiling he said, "Nothing... I drew you a picture!"

I couldn't help but smile, "I love it..." I took it and set it on my desk, "Why did you draw it?" I also couldn't help but feel sad. Why couldn't we be as happy as this picture was?

"Because I knew you'd like it..." He said happily, "And Dad likes it..."

"Dad?" I asked softly.

"Yeah, he told me you'd like it... And he told me he loved me... And he said he'd stop yelling and hitting you..." The boy spoke with so much hope, I hoped Sasuke wasn't making the boy empty promises.

"Oh..." I started to cry.

"Aren't you happy? Mommy?" He asked looking at me as if I had just thrown his picture away.

"Yes." I hugged him, and cried some more, "I am..." But was I really? Was Sasuke filling stupid thoughts into my precious child's head? What if Sasuke lied? What if the fights continued? What if Yori became disappointed? But... He seemed... So happy at the moment...

Sasuke entered the room and hesitated before saying, "I love you... Ino."

* * *

I just realized how OOC Ino and Sasuke are.

Nara Katie


	11. Not So Perfect

**Not So Perfect After All**

**Chapter 11 "Not So Perfect After All"**

**Rated: M**

* * *

I stared at Sasuke and took a deep breath... "Yori..." I whispered, "Go to your room please... And play..." 

Yori nodded and quickly headed out of the room...

I looked away and brought my knees to my chest, "Sasuke... Why tell him that? We've tried over and over to stop the fights... It never works!" I fixed my blue eyes back on him and coughed, "So why tell him it will when clearly it won't?"

"Ino..." He grabbed me and hugged me, "It'll work... I promise..." He stroked my hair and rocked me a little, "Listen... I love you... I love Yori... And I know this sounds stupid, because I've told you that before, but this time I've realized how much I do!"

How the hell could I believe him after all the shit that we've been through? The years we've gone fighting and yelling and he's just now realizing something? "Sasuke... Please..."

"Ino! Please!" He begged, "Listen to me... I love you! I love you so much! And I never meant to hurt you... Or yell at you.. Just believe me... It will work."

"Promise?" I asked quietly, "Promise me it will this time?" I hugged him so tightly I though I might have been crushing his bones.

"I promise." He said kissing me and rocking me a little more, "I promise you it will work this time." Touching my cheek he kissed me again, and again, and again.

I started crying... And I could do, all I could ever do, was hope... Hope he wasn't lying, hope it would really work, and hope Yori wouldn't' be disappointed... I hoped so much... And even though my hopes were always shattered I always hoped again and again. And this time I hoped, I could stop hoping and it would just happen already.

Days passed... And things really started to change... I was surprised at how serious Sasuke was... Maybe Yori was a blessing after all. He had always been something for me to hold on to, something I loved, but he never made things better between me and Sasuke until a few days ago. I was happy, and even though I knew it'd turn out okay, I couldn't help but hope it would stay okay.

* * *

_No, of course they didn't call the wedding off, because, Ino had __**wanted** to marry me... And after she would have said yes, there was no way her parents would let her out of it even if she didn't want to marry after a while._

And now I'm glad she said yes._  
_

_I knew she would hate that place even if she loved it as much as I did._

Even though I thought she'd hate it... I couldn't help but bring her there and tell her it was my favorite place, and I was willing to share, and in the end, she loved it... _  
_

_Time no longer passes slowly. It only moves faster and faster._

Time never stops, no matter how much you want to just stop it, work things out, and resume once more... Time will never slow down, and it makes me kind of sad to think one day... It'll be over.

_I regret ruining her dreams all these years._

I knew I ruined so many hopes for Ino, and I hate myself for it, but now... I try my best to give her all her dreams and hopes back... Not to crush them again, but to make them come true.

_I don't think I ever saw her** truly**_ _happy. Ever._

Not until things started to work out, and now, I have no doubt that she's happy._  
_

_And I should have told her she was the most beautiful thing in the world._

But I had been stupid and prideful, but now I tell her everyday how much I love and need her._  
_

_We loved this house, but I grew to hate it. It reminds me of all the fights. All the unhappy times we shared..._

Even though, I had once thought that... I realized those memories were hard to believe once you became happy, and I grew to love my home again._  
_

_I really wish I tired harder to make her happy, **emotionally.**_

And I thank God, that I try my hardest now, even though I wish I did sooner... Things changed, and I wasn't upset with those changes._  
_

_I never realized how insecure she was until now..._

Even though she hid a lot with her pride... She was still fragile and I didn't know how to deal with delicate items until I made an attempt to learn._  
_

_Why didn't things change? _

Untill now?_  
_

I thought over old memories... I thought about before we got married... I thought about how much we yelled and fought, and how much I just loved her... I truly love Ino... More than anything in the world, and it took me ten fucking years to make a real attempt to fix our twisted love and make things actually work. I guess, in the end, we're not so perfect after all.

**The End**

* * *

Yes, it's short, yes it's happy. I originally planned a very depressing ending, but I grew fond of Sasuke and Ino while writing this... They were struggling so hard, it was cute... In a twisted way... I am sooo weird... Sorry! Love you all! REVIEW! It's the last chapter damn it! _**TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK**_... I could have just bolded that or something... But caps give a good effect.

Nara Katie


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